Long Distance

Long Distance Relationships: The big LDR.

I know how it feels, I have been through the ups and downs of it too, and it's not easy. I thought I'd do a post on it as it is such a huge issue that us girls find ourselves talking about time and time again. 

No one really wants to be so far away from their loved one for so long, we just find ourselves in these situations. You're abroad and you meet someone and decide to continue...but you live in London and he lives in New York.. what are you going to do? 

I think it all depends on the strength of what you two have, and how determined you are. With determination and effort, everything will be ok. Life is about chance, and when you have that chance and meet someone, and it's great, you don't want it to be ruined by distance and all those thousands of miles. But it doesn't have to be ruined, just have faith. For starters, don't immediately put LDR's down and say to yourself that they won't work. That's a myth. They can work, it depends on the couple and how much effort the couple are willing to put into it.

If something starts off as an LDR, it can make it that extra bit exciting, if you are both willing to try and continue when you are in different countries, it means you care a lot about each other and that the effort is there. Then you plan when to next see each other, and so forth. It is hard, it's sad, it hurts, and it's not a fun thing to miss someone all the time. I think it gets easier, and you learn to appreciate one another the longer you spend apart. I think the maximum time couples should be away from each other is 6-7 weeks. After that unnecessary arguments start happening and your relationship is all based on your distance between each other.

Keep in mind: 

Try and not base your whole relationship on the distance, there is so much more to it, the love between you two, the memories, the special spark of your relationship...

Don't be negative about LDR's, they can end up being more exciting and unpredictable than other relationships

It's a good thing not to see your boyfriend/girlfriend every day, because then it just gets a bit boring..no?

These are just my thoughts, but tell me what you think and share your experiences.. What are LDR's to you? 

xoxo

Overthink, Overanalyse

Overthinking...and texting

This is a huge subject here, as unfortunate and foolish as it sounds, us girls don't always get it right in the world of texting guys. We can text our friends all day, every day, without a care in the world, not even reading over what we have just sent. But when it comes to texting guys, it's a whole different story. It's sad but we will re-read their message, worry that they didn't receive ours, ask a few friends if what we said was acceptable, and do we send that smiley or does it look too desperate or clingy? This whole texting problems occur at the start of dating, or when you just meet someone. This is all for the awkward beginning stage, and thankfully isn't a problem once in a relationship.

This is where we are getting it all wrong. I know how frustrating it can be, you like the guy and you don't want to mess it up because of sounding stupid over texting. STOP now. That's exactly how you are ruining it, by thinking over time and time again of what to say. Be natural and be comfortable with your conversation, don't sound too flirty, too interested and too available. If he takes a long time to reply, take even longer. I wouldn't normally encourage game-playing but a few small careful game-playing tips can really make a difference. If the guy acts weird, don't try harder because of his lack of passion or interest. If he doesn't have time for you, then you shouldn't make time for him.

Common Problems: ( We've all gone through at least a couple of these)

1. He's super sweet/nice and normal in real life, but his texts are cold and he seems uninterested

Personally, I think we should focus more on what happens in real life than through technology. Today, technology is ruining relationships, it's confusing, we can't always understand what the other person means, it can be awkward, it's just a mess for new relationships.. that is why it is so much more important how he is in person to you. However, if he is a total loser when he is texting you, it's probably because he is shy and he doesn't want to seem too interested, or doesn't want to bother you.  Or maybe, just maybe, he's just not a big texter...(shocker)

2. He rarely replies to me, and if he does I get one word answers

I guess it depends what kind of stage you are at with the guy, whether or not you see him regularly or not. However, one word replies are a big no-no, if you are receiving these girls, it's not a good sign. Again, it depends how this guy is to you in real life, is he cold to you then? If he is, you need to take this as a sign that he isn't interested and move on. Guys are super scared of showing their emotions, especially when they are uninterested in a girl, so they'll literally try every excuse they can without properly telling you that he's not interested. It's much easier ( and selfish) to play games and indirectly tell you he's not interested. That makes it so much harder for us as we are confused by all these mixed messages. Follow your gut feeling, it doesn't sound too pleasant but it's true, do you think this guy is into you? If so, you're probably right, but if there are really no proper signs, you have to accept it and forget about it.

3. He texts and calls me all the time, and it's a bit overwhelming

It's funny that we want attention from guys, but when we get it, we don't like it. Again this is a common problem. This guy is sweet, and he is really into you, and he wants to show you he is by talking to you all the time. However, it gets a bit too much sometimes, and it's not even attractive. We want our guys to be manly, strong and in control men who how to treat a girl properly; we basically want a gentleman. So when a guy tries to be a gentleman, we put him down because it's all a bit too much for us. If you are experiencing this, this overload from a guy, and you aren't into him, you must let him know and let him down as nice as possible. On the other hand, if you are into the guy but aren't used to all the attention, you can mention it in a funny and casual way, " You're a big texter, aren't you?" but laugh about it, make sure you don't make the poor guy feel uncomfortable. Trust me, this is a good sign. A lot of attention= he's into you. Barely any attention = he isn't. It really is as simple as that.

The Love Nest

The Awful Truth 

I wanted my first post to be something really relatable, something that readers can read and think to themselves 'Yep, that's me.' That's what I want my blog to be about, not just about me, but about my readers and what we all go through on a day to day basis.  Why did I choose to write a blog about relationships? I feel like I spend a lot of time talking about them, thinking about them, and helping my friends. At 21 I've had my ups and downs, and so have my friends, I feel like I've over analysed many situations more than I should, but it's ok..right?

So what is the awful truth then? It's just that...we overanalyse. About everything, about him, about us, about anything really. I don't know why but we do. We want to be prepared for anything, we want to envision all possible outcomes. Here is a bit of advice right now, stop the thinking, stop the overanalysing, because at the end of the day, it doesn't get you anywhere. You just get more worried, more confused, more upset, when it would have just been easier to be natural and let nature happen. What is meant to be will happen, right? Ultimately it does, but sometimes you can ruin something when you think about it too much. 

I'll be posting an examples post to get further into detail with this, I feel like this is something I have done a lot in the past, and I really realised a difference when I stopped.